Tales of Woe from the harbinger of sorrow

Recently, while reading Aleister Crowley's Book of Thoth, I started to notice a mathematical pattern, similar to the natural growth and decay logarithm (ln). I became aware of further correlations and metaphors in this book, and how they applied to myself, or to the outside world. One of the most mind blowing analogies was the hidden meanings of the labels on the boxes of most modern day groceries.

These labels come complete with aset of imagery that communicates a central dogma. This blend of concepts from the such diverse sources as the Kaballah, I Ching, and Dianetics have also been the source of many of today's Tarot decks. The actual imagery of the deck is actually a mystery.Many people believe that these images came from paintings discovered in the attic of Anne Frank, but that has been unearthed to be a misunderstanding. It was then belived that these paintings were found in a hidden valley of Napa California, when fragments of 2 additional paintings of the "FOOL" card were discovered. These two cards are sometimes included in the deck nowadays.

A little know fact about this deck is that it is also for those who wish to understand the deeply rooted, true and secret meanings behind the the little nutritional information boxes on the backs of most modern day groceries. The letters of the vitamins are all hebrew. The symbology of the deck, when taken out of numerical order and into a hebrew letter order, provide a wealth of knowledge about the Hebrew Lettered vitamins. It seems that the letters that represent each vitamin acutally have a vibrational resonance that matches a similar frequency inside a human being digestive and reproductive tracts.

A little known fact about Aleistar Crowley is that his actual name was a set of four hebrew letters: Fahr, Daath, Icach, and Chod (FDIC). This is what they mean when the banks talk about FDIC protection. Aleistar Crowley was the founder of the most secret, at the time, of all mystic societies, called the Ordo Templi Ordus (OTO). The OTO practiced a form of egyptian worship that became known as the hermetic tradition. The ancient practice of mummification is an example of their dark arts. In order for banks to secure their money, they must first hermetically seal their money in empty, and sometimes, not-so-empty mayonaise jars. This process of cleaning the money and putting into Mayo jars is called "Hermetically Sealing".

Aleistar Crowley did spend quite a few years doing drugs. During this time was when Crowley was most vocally against the workings of the Catholic Church. His work was banned, so he was forced to publish all his works under different pen names (Mer De Noms). Many people have heard his works disguised as some of the esoteric greats: John Dee, H.P. Blavatsky, and most currently Tom Harris. Most tragically, Crowley was such a people person, especially with children. During his banishment, he spent much time in sad depressions. During one of his deepest plunges into despair, he had a vision of a great Arch-Angel that uplifted him into a state of glee. It was during this time that Crowley, already villified by the public for his views against the Catholic Church, developed the most significant of his inventions.

Just like the Book of Thoth, Aleistar Crowley, too was most know for his work with the Lady Freida Harris. Harris of course, was part of Project Paperclip's plan to import ex-Nazi scientists into America during the spanish-american war. Harris' speciality was particle physics, of which she was awared a nobel peace prize (one year after Marie Curie). Harris was a principle engineer in Haas labs as well, offering prize patents in the design of lycanthropic topical creams, reverse aeresol poison, and radon gas.

During her time when she was the principle designer for Haas Labratories - work began on the invention of "Princess Phones", Crowley was brought in as a consultant. He was to provide the neccessary background information of the ancient practices of the Roscicrutians and the secret rights that they performed for communicative purposes. It seems that these practices concerned the placing of small french poodles inside of even smaller copper cylinders. These cylinders would then have a copper ball placed on top of it to keep it from spilling over when an electric field is applied. The electric field creates a visible snake-like ribbon of energy to appear around the cylinder (Called a Tesla Coil).

This work was the basis for the experiments in Montauk, which resulted in the simultaneous creation of the Nuclear Bomb, Paris, and the Home Cooling Unit, which is now lovingly called AC in honor of Aleistar Crowley. Truely a cold day in hell....