Marked by the Goddess

I had this weird dream once. It was like an unfolding Tarot card spread at first, and then I sort of fell into it. This is what happened in the dream, and in the days that followed, and my current insight into it:

I rose up the steps, each footstep numb, like walking on pillows, but I felt myself being propelled forward. I saw the glimmering light of the Moon shining down the path, lighting the way for me. There was an entrace, a set of pillars, each on the side of one large, open doorway. I moved forward to the doorway, and like a hologram coming into focus, and back out again, I saw the images of two large anubis staring at the doorway.

"Portal"

That was the first word that popped into my head, the first time in this dream that I heard anything, and it was that word. I stepped through the portal and into the ajoining hallway. I remember most the light. Whitehotburningbrightfirepainpainpain light. I couldn't look forward, and I had to sheild my eyes with my hands just to be able to keep my equilibrium. As I looked away, I could see large crystals, diamonds, quartz, as well as flowers, fruits, and the hem of the veil that covered the figure covered in light. There was a pool of water in front of the veil. I could see her more clearly. In the reflection, I could see her six armed figure, her three-eyed gaze, so lovingly holding me.

At that thought, I fell into the reflection. The light called to me and I felt my body rest against her supple bosom, the arms now enfolding me in an embrace both fetal and sexual. The Goddess held me closely and told me secrets. Each revelation would manifest from her mouth as a million petalled lotus and floated down the water towards my feet, and back into my body. I stood there, simultaneously curled inside her grasp.

The tone of her voice, changed from this whispering, lilting voice into a ragged howl. The arms twisted me and bound me. The fetal trust had lent itself well to pain. The face rotated, and I saw the second of the Goddess' faces. She was rage. There was a crown of fire surrounding her head, her tounge, too was a burst of flame, and her kiss brushing her firey toung in my mouth scorching me. I felt her claws rip into me, burning and bloody, yet strangely cold. The copper taste in my mouth intensified.

She pulled me from her bosom, her grasp, and shoved me to the ground. Stepping on my chest, the Goddess, stood over me and began to pee on me. Bathing now in the urine, I felt as if it was charging me, somehow filling me with - what, could it have been Soma? - some kind of energy or mana. This emination, as divine as the last drew in my spirit now, held me closely, and made savage and lewd sexual movements all over my body, bending me into sexual positions. Holding me down, shoving me into her as a violent act. Animalistic passion and sexual urges gave way again to extreme carnal visions. At that point I realized they were just visions, and the figure's face changed again.

As the Goddess turned her new face to me, I felt myself slip into the water of the reflection, my body drifitng beneath the surface of the pool, past lotus flowers, and into a watery vortex. I felt disoriented, I had been holding my breath, and I was starting to feel dizzy, so I let out my breath, and drew in water to my lungs. This is when she appeared to me again, coming from the depths. She engulfed my in her grasp and kissed me, or more accurately, breathed into my lungs. She looked into my eyes with benevolence, and began to swim us both to the surface. It was an alcove, a dimly lit chamber, with a pool-lip around where we were surfacing. All previous scarring, burning, and ripping was gone now.

The Goddess rose out of the pool, naked and dripping, she sat upon her throne. Powerful waves of energy radiated from her opening third eye, and then as it blinked, went away. This pulsed on and off as she looked at me from her throne. With a brittle shriek, an Ibis settled next to her. Things became calm and relaxed. A sea shell was leaning against the wall, and it opened. Inside it was a mirror. I approached the mirror, and looked into it. I could see a mark on my body it was a mark that looked like a grail of some kind. At no point was I surprised, it was as if it had been placed there, and there was no pain. I felt comforted by her presence, but when I turned around to thank her, she was gone.

I slipped out of my dream.

The next day, I was going about my business online, chatting and IMing, but I noticed that all the people I was contacted by were women. When I left for lunch, I kept bumping into women - literally. I found many women looking right at me. Making eye contact with me. I think of eye contact as a coincidence usually, but this was different. The look that was pointed at me was not their own. It came from something else, a manifestation of the Goddess in each of her emmisaries. I felt like I was in that movie, "Fallen", and there was this entity moving from person to person, looking deeply into me, bumping into me, making it's presence known. I feel that I have been touched by the Goddess. She is watching me, tainting my life, and I am scared. I almost feel as if the Goddess is out to give me something big and wonderful, but I am a little frightened about what she might have in store for me. Because I know that what I want is not up for debate. It is all under her will.

I know now what this is telling me. It is a destiny that is calling to me. There is only one woman in the world, and she wills herself to appear to me. The Goddess shines down upon me, and when I meet the Goddess on the astral plane again, and when she blesses me and makes love to me again, even if it were just like before, even if I had to endure this mark for eternity, I will worship the Goddess, and whatever she offers me.